Independent Woman: a survivor’s message
AUTHOR
November 22, 2024
I am an independent woman.
In addition to being a published book author, I have taught hundreds of students English composition and literature. I earned a master’s degree in my field while in my twenties. It was while pursuing the Ph.D. in a toxic public university that I found my voice as a Black woman survivor. I was raped. There are individuals who discriminate against and target women, people of color, and people with disabilities. I joined disability advocacy and support groups because there is strength in numbers. Learning to prioritize my safety and mental health has been my most important lesson as a Black woman with a disability.
Because family dysfunction such as domestic violence-marred my formative years, I gravitated towards school and teachers for affirmation, knowledge, and life skills. In high school, I witnessed both my parents graduate from a top university. Higher education has been my path to mobility. “Knowledge is power.”
Work provides me with economic stability. Rarely have I been out of a job. My side hustles in the hospitality and retail industries gave me the money and time for self-discovery. With a book brand and service to youth and people with disabilities, I am sharing what it’s like to be a Black female survivor in America. My entrepreneurial spirit shines a light on the need for inclusive safe spaces for African American women and girls who are rape survivors. Counselors must be culturally competent and sensitive. Healthcare providers must believe in Black women. The police must be adequately equipped and trained to assist victims in the pursuit of justice. Likewise, members of the African American community must choose collective work, responsibility, and truth over long-held secrets and taboos. We must learn to accept our flaws and to protect our most vulnerable. We must choose to speak up, to tell.
The local Chamber of Commerce and SCORE chapter pushed me to find confidence and purpose as an author, editor, and professor. During tough times, local Vocational Rehabilitation offices and the state-run Career Source empowered me to stay focused on my professional goals. I brushed up on my interview skills and revised my resumé through free services. I network at conferences and in online forums. Relationships are key to a successful life. I’ve learned to advocate for myself which has allowed me to be more resourceful for my students and young women in my community.
I am an independent woman.
I do not depend on men to give me what I want.
When I look in the mirror, the Black woman I see reflected back to me is beautiful, confident, and kind. My extensive network of family and friends celebrate and support the prosperous woman I am becoming.
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